We have been so blessed lately. There have been quite a few happy new mothers just in time for mothers day. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
But childbirth isn't easy. According to the WHO, at least one woman dies of childbirth related complications a minute. And as many as 50% of all pregnancies aren't carried to full term, nearly 20% will end in miscarriage. Ed Sheeran's song, Small Bump touches on some of the issues of miscarriage.
Small bump: Ed Sheeran
My psychological perspective
How do we support women/families who have had such experiences?
Women/families may simply require our support. To show that we are there. Offering advice (e.g. "you are still young, there will be other chances") may not be as helpful as providing emotional support ("I am here and I am listening").
Organisations such as "bears of hope" and "pregnancy loss Australia" can provide practical support (even helping with funeral arrangements), social support and counselling support. The founders have their own loss experiences as well.
What to talk to children about?
Possible themes: death/ loss/ grief/ love/ recovery
Before you speak to a child about miscarriage, you need to gauge the child's level of understanding and development. You may have to follow up the subject later when the child is ready to talk. You can also contact a support group or therapist if you are unsure about how to broach the subject.
Children may manifest grief in different ways to adults. In some children, it may present as irritability, aggression, withdrawal, etc.
My christian perspective
Wow. This is such a hard area to touch on. I am still making my mind up about how to deal with this within my own christian world view. On one hand I understand God is sovereign over all. And He knows what he is doing. But on the other hand, I get caught up in the sorrow of child loss and am not sure why such things happen. The main thing I keep in mind is, how can I love the person affected? What would Jesus do?
One thing I believe is that the little one is in a better place. This depends a little bit about when you believe life begins- If you believe that life begins at the moment of birth or before. At least twice, Jesus makes reference to children and heaven (Matthew 18:2-3 and Matthew 19:13-14). Based on this, I believe that the unborn child had life, and will be going to heaven.
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