Tuesday 23 April 2013

Book Review: CPH- Part II. Win an online parenting course!


This is the second review on this book. PLUS- WIN an online parenting course or other parenting resources.




Book Summary: The Christian Parenting Handbook (2013)- PART II of V
The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child's Life
The authors have put together 50 strategies for Christian parenting. The suggestions here are quite logical. Chapters 11 to 20 look at some pretty broad issues. The family as a team. Making God and the bible part of family life. Bookmark good days.United parenting. Teaching kids to honor the family. Targeting conflict, not problems by recognizing the difference, stopping escalation traps, isolating the process. Affirm right behaviour. Being wise. 

My psychological perspective:
Family of origin, religion, etc all play a role in the way parents do parenting. Some of my clients come from cultures where it's all about community and family, so they try to raise their children to spend time together, do things for each other, etc. Others come from families where they are mostly interested in individual pursuits. In reality, each family functions a little differently and parents may have different influences on their parenting.

It's important for parents to be on the same page. And this requires good communication between parents and other caregivers. When kids receive the same consequences for behaviour, etc they are less likely to get confused or play the good/bad parent card.


Rarely do I get parents coming to the clinic because kids don't do the chores. They come in because getting the kids to do the chores has become a conflict in the household. The authors made the distinction between problems and conflicts quite clear. They highlight a way to stop escalation traps - "It takes two to argue, but only one to stop". (I will discuss escalation traps in a subsequent blog post). The authors also talk about the importance of wise parenting as opposed to being right (more on wise parenting in a subsequent blog post).


My Christian Perspective:
The bible is a vital way we can understand the will of God in our lives. For the longest time, I have made it a core interest to instill on my Sunday school kids a desire to know God and to read his word everyday. I tell them that the bible is not cake- that we eat for special occasions, but it's daily bread, we need it every single day. The authors spend some time emphasizing the importance of helping kids to grow a love of God's word.

My overall rating: 

Excellent

I believe Part II (Chapter 11-20) of The Christian Parenting Handbook (2013) gives some pretty good insights into Christ-centered parenting. Instead of just vaguely telling parents to instill the word of God in a child's life, the authors give some pretty clear examples of HOW we can do it. The concept of honoring your kids and teaching your kids to honor the family is precious. We don't want to train dogs or make robots who do what we say. We want to build up kids to WANT to do good. 

"Obedience gets the job done, but honor addresses the way people relate in that process." I really like this phrase and may use it with my clients. It's not just doing what you are told. It's doing things because you want to honor the family. 
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3 comments:

  1. Lying - because that is a big issue in our house!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My girls have a problem with bad attitudes. So I think that would be a great topic.

    ReplyDelete
  3. how to apply consequences to a teen who will not go out to study or find a full time job ?

    ReplyDelete